Cet article How to Get Back Into Singing After a Long Break est apparu en premier sur GL Voice.
]]>Okay, time for a little bit of honesty. How long has it been since you last sang? Oops! Did that question make you squirm? Was it yesterday, or last week? Maybe a few weeks or months ago? Or has it been (gulp) even longer? It’s okay. The longer we go without doing it, the harder it feels to get back into singing after a long break – why is that?
If you have avoided singing for a long period of time, it’s a tough cycle to break. First, we avoid singing, or get busy and forget, or have an illness or injury that makes it impossible for us to sing, but then we begin to guilt ourselves for not singing, and then that guilt makes us continue to avoid singing, and we, of course, continue to feel guilty. How do we get out of this avoidant/guilt-ridden chain of events? No worries! I can help!
Start slow
Don’t think that you need to push through your guilt and anxiety by forcing yourself to sing for hours at a time on the first day you decide to start singing again. You wouldn’t try to get back into a running practice by running 16 miles on your first day back, would you? Singing is no different. The first step towards rebuilding your practice after a long pause is to just start enjoying music again. Put on an old playlist that you love, watch one of your favorite movie musicals, listen to one of your favorite albums; basically, do something that will make you remember why you want to sing in the first place.
Sing easy songs
Usually for me, listening to a favorite album or watching a movie musical that I love always tends to get my toes tapping and occasionally I end up singing along, which is enough to break a funk. When you’re trying to get back into singing, it should be fun! Sing things you love like songs that make you feel good and sing them in a way that makes you feel good. Go do karaoke with your friends, sing a favorite song in the shower, dance around your living room while singing, and participate in my Sing For Yourself challenge – Whatever you try, really go for it!
Do a little every day
Start building a small daily habit and start small. You can start in 3-minute increments if you need – the time it takes to listen to one song. Do something every day that makes you want to get back into singing. Eventually, you can stretch those three minutes increments to ten minutes. Ten minutes can eventually become twenty and so forth. Listening to a song every day for a week can eventually become listening to a song and then singing along to its karaoke track. Whatever you do, listen to yourself, go at your own pace, and don’t feel bad if you miss a day! Just get back to it the next day you remember.
Get professional support
If all of this is starting to work and you feel like you’re ready to start singing again after a big break, it might be time to reach out to a singing teacher to help come up with a more intense practice schedule, to help you set goals and to achieve them and to help cheer you on to singing again, even if it’s just for yourself.
About the Author
Georgia Aussenac is a Singing Coach specialising in fostering confidence, joy and fun for adults looking to make singing a part of their lives.
Georgia also coaches English-speaking singers and voice teachers on French diction.
With a particular passion for everything vocal health, Georgia offers Vocal SOS coaching to anyone who uses their speaking voice professionally and is struggling to keep up with the demands of their job.
You can work with Georgia online from anywhere in the world, as long as your schedules match up!
Cet article How to Get Back Into Singing After a Long Break est apparu en premier sur GL Voice.
]]>Cet article Singing at My Own Wedding est apparu en premier sur GL Voice.
]]>Singing at my own wedding
Overcoming my own obstacles to be able to sing to my husband at our wedding
I never thought I’d be singing at my own wedding. When people asked me about it, I always said “Oh no, that’s too much pressure! I’d prefer to not be in performance mode on my own wedding day.” I had every excuse in the book as to why it wasn’t something I wanted to do. But when I actually got married, it became very clear to me that it was something very important to me. Singing is the way I communicate my emotions, and I knew I couldn’t say what I needed to just with words. I’d like to share my story with you, so that hopefully you too can find the confidence to sing for a significant occasion. Spoiler alert: it’s not about a perfect performance.
1. The inner voice telling me I couldn't do it
I told myself so many reasons why I couldn't sing at my own wedding. I convinced myself it wasn't possible.
I’ve sung at weddings before. Many times, actually. It’s a very emotional occasion to perform for, and I consider it an absolute privilege to bring something extra special to a couple’s wedding day. But because of this experience, I was sure I couldn’t do it for my own wedding. In no particular order, these were my main worries:
Warming up
I worried about being too busy to warm up and ‘prepare’ on the day – I thought I knew enough about weddings to know that I would be very busy on the day of the wedding. Getting ready takes a lot of time, and I’d be surrounded by my close family and friends whom I’d want to spend time with. And performing without warming up? Without going over my words, or test-running the backing track? Inconceivable!
The Dress
I worried about not being able to sing easily in my dress. I don’t like singing in outfits that are very tight/restrictive to the ribcage. We were always told how important it was for the breath to be free. But I chose a wedding dress that was exactly that – tight around the ribcage with not much wiggle room for deep breathing! (It had a stunning open back and V neckline that I LOVED, which seemed more important!).
The Emotion
Being overcome with emotion was a big fear. You know that feeling when you’re holding back emotion, and your voice chokes up? It’s really hard to sing with that feeling. I’ve had a couple of family weddings I’ve sung at where I’ve really had to steel myself and shut off my emotion to be able to get through a performance without my voice cracking. I didn’t want to feel like I had to close off my emotions on my own wedding day, but I also fully anticipated that if I felt emotional singing at someone else’s wedding, I would DEFINITELY be emotional at my own wedding!
The Pressure
I was sure that the pressure of singing in front of so many important people would be too much. We originally planned to have a very big wedding, with around 250 guests for the ceremonies.* The thought of singing in front of so many people, on such an important day, and screwing up, was not something I felt great about. I’ve sung to much bigger audiences, but the stakes have never felt so high. This of course says a lot about how much I care what others think, which is a whole other conversation…it’s something I’m working on!
* In France, Church and State are separate, so you have to get married at the town hall first before going on to a second ceremony (if you wish) at a church or other place of worship (or for a non-religious ceremony! Hence, ceremonies plural!
2. Realising how much I wanted to sing at the wedding
Singing is about communicating emotions bigger than words can express
As we got closer to the big day, I started to realise that I needed to sing if I was going to be true to myself on my wedding day.
I’ve always been a singer. I’ve always used song to express emotions that are bigger than I can communicate with words. If a friend has a family death, I’ll send them a song rather than a card. If there’s a new baby, I send a lullaby. When there are family events, I sing a favourite song of the person we’re celebrating. It’s my way of saying, I love you, you’re important to me. So, how could I not sing for my husband?
One day, as I was doing my daily #singforyourself challenge, I realised I’d stumbled across the song I wanted to sing to him. The lyrics were right, and the melody felt so right that even thinking about it now I’m full of a warm glow feeling. (Does music do that to you too? Or is it just me?).
I didn’t know when on the wedding day it would make sense to sing, and I was terrified about doing it so I didn’t tell anyone I was even considering it. But the more I tried to push away the idea, the more it kept coming back.
It was time to address the obstacles, and make it feel like a safe possibility.
3. How changing my mindset made it possible
My view of what singing at my own wedding "should" be was getting in my way
I had this image in my mind of my performing at my own wedding being the same as singing at someone else’s wedding. A certain standard expected, a perfect, well-prepared performance, with a controlled level of emotion. Basically, a ‘professional’ quality, the same as if someone was being paid to perform. It seems silly to write that now, knowing what it ended up being, but I was definitely stuck in this mindset.
However, as I was doing my own #singforyourself challenge during the months leading up to the wedding, I made some really big discoveries that really helped shift my mindset around singing and performance.
Ways I Shifted My Mindset
1. I reconnected with my voice, and started to regain my trust in it that had been damaged through years of competition and comparison. This helped me let go of the need for ‘perfect’ preparation
2. This confidence was built even further by working with a singing teacher (Eryn Street) who encouraged me to sing what I loved, and coached me with a gentle and encouraging hand. We had so much fun exploring different corners of my voice I hadn’t dared to before.
3. I stopped caring so much about ‘perfect’, zero-mistakes, singing. I sang because it made me happy, instead of striving for perfection. Years of academic classical training had sucked this out of me, so this was a big thing to get back.
4. I broke away from the box of thinking that requires a comprehensive warm up with the perfect exercises before performing. I got creative, played with my voice, and got to know it so much better. Instead of expecting my voice to do what other people told me it could or couldn’t do, I learned to trust it to do what I asked it to.
4. The obstacles that went 'poof'
The circumstances around our wedding changed significantly, which made it clear what was important...and made the obstacles seem smaller!
Thanks to the global pandemic (cheers, COVID-19), our wedding changed significantly. My family and bridal party weren’t able to come at all, we were whittled down to 20 guests, and we cancelled our big reception in favour of a lunch on a family farm. It was stressful and hard, and things were constantly changing even up to the last day when it was finally confirmed that we would be allowed to have all our guests at the town hall.
Finding our priorities
All of these challenges made it very clear what was important, and even clearer how important it was for me to sing on the wedding day. To tell him how much I loved him, to tell him that I was literally prepared to do anything (even get married without my family) for him and for us, and that I was ready to commit to our lifetime together. We don’t speak the same mother tongue (he’s French), and music has always been a way we’ve connected when language barriers got in the way. It felt easier to sing than to speak.
Taking charge
I realised that I could make time to warm up – it was my day! I decided that I trusted my voice enough to cope with the restrictive dress. The song I’d chosen is one I’ve known for years and could sing in my sleep. I did practice it with my singing teacher and we talked through a couple of strategies for dealing with a few harder notes. She also reminded me and encouraged me to sing with authentic emotion, even if it meant my voice cracked. You’re allowed to cry at your own wedding! The number of people being so reduced helped me get over my nerves too, and I knew that holding my husband’s hand would be a way to reassure myself if I started to feel overwhelmed.
5. Singing at my own wedding
It wasn't a professional performance...but it wasn't meant to be.
I had grand plans to warm up in the morning before my hair & makeup artist arrived. It didn’t happen – I had time to do about 2 mins of humming and vocal fry. We had music on while we were getting ready, and I sang along and used that as a warm up (see above). I also made sure I was hydrated enough.
When I was dressed, I did a test run with the backing track so the person who needed to press ‘go’ knew what they were doing. I barely made it through the song without melting into a puddle of tears, but it reassured me that my voice was warm enough. It would have to do!
I decided to singing during our civil ceremony. We’d postponed the church wedding, so we chose to exchange our rings at the town hall. When we got to that moment, the music started, and I started singing:
For you, there’ll be no crying (cue ironic voice crack, threatening tears, and a reset…I can do this)
For you, the sun will be shining (big smile, because he’s my sunshine)
Cause I feel that when I’m with you, it’s alright (he squeezed my hand)
I know it’s right (I knew I’d made the right call to sing)
I made it through the whole song, and even gave him his ring and said my words in French during the instrumental between the verses. He joined in singing with me in the second verse, which I wasn’t expecting at all, and it was probably one of my favourite memories of the whole day.
Everyone told me afterwards that it blew them away, and was one of the most perfect moments of the wedding day. It was authentic to us, and to who I am. And it was the best gift I could give to my husband – he was completely surprised!
What I learned about myself
(Because my teacher hat is always on!)
That I can trust my voice because I have spent time getting to know it and learning to ask it to do what I want.
I had practiced, but there’s something about emotion choking you up that throws a lot of that out the window. While I was singing, I followed my instinct about how much support, breath, pressure, volume I needed, and what dynamics I could pull off. It was a lot harder to sing quietly, so I didn’t.
That it is ok to be vulnerable and show raw emotion in a performance – and it won’t ruin it, it’ll make it real.
That I am a lot braver than I thought.
I was more nervous than I think I’ve ever been for a performance. It was really difficult – holding myself together took everything I’ve got. But I did it, and I really enjoyed it. It’s a memory I’ll cherish forever.
Final thoughts
I'm so grateful I found the courage to sing at my own wedding
I enjoyed my wedding day even more because I was true to myself – singer and all – and overcame a huge amount of self-disbelief. My motivation was wanting to gift something special to my husband. I was able to do it through changing my mindset on what I considered to be ‘a performance’, and shifted from a professional to personal attitude, which is what was appropriate for the occasion.
A key aspect of preparing for this was the help of working with a singing teacher. I am a singing teacher myself, but even teachers need teachers! Eryn helped me prepared the song vocally of course, but the real preparation was in my headspace, and she was able to coach me through that too. This is something that is very important to me in my own teaching, and it was an amazing experience to be able to receive this kind of coaching from someone else.
(Is it weird that I’m telling you about another singing teacher? I don’t think so! We have very similar value systems, but we’ve got different strengths, and working with the teacher who’s the right fit for your personality and needs is key).
If singing something special for someone you love is one of your goals, get in touch with me. I would LOVE to help you achieve your goal!
Credits:
All photos by Loic Bourniquel unless otherwise indicated.
The dress: Sally Eagle Bridal
Hair and Makeup: Sabrina from L’Art et La Matière Coiffure Mixte et Conseils
Flowers: Auréline Fleuriste Albi
About the Author
Georgia Aussenac is a Singing Coach specialising in fostering confidence, joy and fun for adults looking to make singing a part of their lives.
Georgia also coaches English-speaking singers and voice teachers on French diction.
With a particular passion for everything vocal health, Georgia offers Vocal SOS coaching to anyone who uses their speaking voice professionally and is struggling to keep up with the demands of their job.
You can work with Georgia online from anywhere in the world, as long as your schedules match up!
Cet article Singing at My Own Wedding est apparu en premier sur GL Voice.
]]>Cet article Reconnect With Your Voice est apparu en premier sur GL Voice.
]]>Do you need to reconnect with your voice? Everyone has times when they are feeling a bit down with their singing. Maybe even to the point where you’ve stopped singing entirely. Sometimes that’s because of external factors (like a pandemic!) out of our control. Sometimes it’s directly related to a singing experience, perhaps something that resulted in a loss of confidence (like an unsuccessful audition). In the context of the worldwide lockdown, I came up with this guide to help my students reconnect with their voices when they weren’t really feeling like singing. I’ve since updated it, because this is one of the most common questions I see in new clients. We’ve all been there (me too!) and if this is making you nod, I hope this will help you, too!
Have you been struggling to sing? You're not alone.
Now, for someone who doesn’t have strong feelings about singing, this probably doesn’t sound like a big deal. But if you’re here reading this, then I know that for you, like me, singing is our THING. The thing that we do when we’re happy, sad, angry, frustrated…basically any emotion. It helps us express feelings we don’t have words for, it connects us with music that we love, and most of all, it brings us joy. Singing can do more for us than *just* make a nice sound!
So, what do you do if you don’t feel like singing anymore? What happens when you just can’t bring yourself to make a note? It probably makes you feel worse that you haven’t been singing. Do you feel guilty for not practising? Have you tried to convince yourself that you don’t need to sing? I’ve been there. I’ve been through the whole rollercoaster, and I’ve come out the other side. Now, I try to sing every day. And a good part of the time, I succeed.
I want to help you do the same, to get your voice back and reconnect you with the activity that means more to you than anything else.
1. Take a step back
You don't have to sing to start reconnecting with your voice
Take a step back from actually singing. Instead, start with reconnecting to music. It doesn’t even have to be music that you like to sing usually – just start somewhere! Go back to music you love and spend some time enjoying it.
- Put on an album that you love.
- Listen to an old playlist – or make a new one.
- Watch a movie that has a great soundtrack.
- Watch music videos or your favourite covers on YouTube.
Singing and mental health
You might also want to go have a watch of my chat with Jo Hooper from @getwildlyfree. We talked about what might be going on with your brain during a stressful time (such as a pandemic!) that gets in the way of your singing, and what you can do about it. I highly recommend watching it – it’ll hopefully make you feel less alone and help you understand how your body and mind are responding to stress.
2. Start in your comfort zone
When you're ready, make it fun and easy
Reconnect with your singing through doing stuff you love, right inside your comfort zone.
Sing along to songs you love (I have a playlist specifically for this).
Sing something you know well and enjoy singing – don’t pay attention to how it sounds or what you should be working on, just have fun.
Find a karaoke track online for a song you like, and sing along!
3. Make it a daily habit
Make time to reconnect with your voice every day
Making time to reconnect with your voice every day is about making time for yourself. In shifting the expectations on yourself, and taking the *performance* pressure off, you give yourself permission to reconnect with your singing and why you love it in the first place. You’ll not sound great every day, but that is fine! Singing for pleasure, and not just for results, is important too.
Personally I find that the days that I take the pressure off, and just “play” with my voice, are the days I have the most fun. But they are also the days that I discover the most about my voice, and gain the confidence to try new things.
So, what does singing every day look like for me?
Some days I’m feeling great, motivated and excited about the work I’m doing. I might easily lose two hours of my day in singing practice, working at and experimenting with my technique, after a healthy warm up, before having a big sing through the songs I’m working on.
But to be honest, sometimes those days are pretty rare! So I keep singing by changing the expectations to match my mood. I might:
- Put on a soundtrack and sing along while I’m doing housework.
- Spend just 5 mins singing some warm ups so I know I’ve taken care of my voice that day.
- Choose a song to sing, not warm up*, sing through it a couple of times and call it a day.
What do you notice about all of these activities? They are all about singing for yourself, not anyone else. Not even your teacher!
I also love to sing for other people, so I might choose a song and record and send it to a friend or family member to say that I’m thinking of them. I particularly love to do this for friends with kids!
*If you are choosing between warming up and getting disheartened and not singing, or not warming up and enjoying singing for a short while, then I think the second option is better! So I’m giving you permission to skip the warm up. Of course, if it hurts or you are straining, please take a few minutes to warm things up a bit so that you can also sing tomorrow! (smiles)
Try the #SingForYourself Challenge
Use the daily prompts to help you create a daily singing habit. Make it your own, and go at your own pace. You don’t have to perform every day – just use it to reconnect with your voice.
4. Don't rush yourself
Know yourself, and don't force yourself back into "performance" mode
Singing work requires a certain level of mental capacity. We need to be patient with ourselves, and have the ability to self-critique without it taking a toll on our self-confidence. Wait until you’re feeling brave or back to normal for this kind of singing:
Doing longer warm ups and/or technical exercises:
Working on your voice can be hard work when you’re feeling emotionally all over the place. You’re much better off to go straight to the song that puts a smile on your face, and come back to warm ups if you feel like singing for longer than a few minutes. Don’t thrash your way through a warm up if it’s not working well – skip over it and try something else.
Practicing new repertoire or doing dedicated technique work.
See above – it’s hard work when your emotions are all over the place, because your voice is the instrument of your emotions. You know that feeling when you’re trying not to cry, and your voice gets all choked up? That’s not a good feeling to be doing technique work on! Unless you’re very experienced with working on your voice (and even if you are), we’re our own worst critic and can be very hard on ourselves. This can be great for helping us improve our singing, but it can be really difficult on our self esteem when we’re already feeling low.
5. Your voice is yours
At the end of the day, your voice is a part of you
If singing is something you love to do, not wanting to sing could be a sign that you’re not quite yourself. I know it is for me! But if you can get past the hurdle of not feeling like singing, and find a way to reconnect with your voice, you can also have a positive impact on your mental health (as I discussed with Jo!). Your voice is a part of you, and if you’re anything like me, a part of your identity. So reconnecting with your voice will also be inherently tied to reconnecting with yourself. Personally, as a singing teacher, my goal is to help my students gain confidence in their voices, and this is very much tied to them gaining confidence in themselves.
I will add, if you are struggling with your mental health, you should reach out to a health professional and get some help. Equally, if you are struggling with your singing, tell your singing coach as they will be able to help you. And if you don’t have a voice coach, maybe it’s a good time to get one!
About the Author
Georgia Aussenac is a Singing Coach specialising in fostering confidence, joy and fun for adults looking to make singing a part of their lives.
Georgia also coaches English-speaking singers and voice teachers on French diction.
With a particular passion for everything vocal health, Georgia offers Vocal SOS coaching to anyone who uses their speaking voice professionally and is struggling to keep up with the demands of their job.
You can work with Georgia online from anywhere in the world, as long as your schedules match up!
Cet article Reconnect With Your Voice est apparu en premier sur GL Voice.
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